EXECUTIVE'S SLUT - CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 5: THE PROPOSITION

Gerald came back for meeting about the divorce. As we sat opposite each other in the conference room of Ms. Warner’s offices, he couldn’t even look me in the eyes. He explained that he met someone who made him happy. I didn’t know I hadn’t made him happy. He said he liked the country and the culture. He wanted to live there. He confided he was anxious to get this over with. I thought he was feeling very guilty but not guilty enough to recant. Of course, I was instructed to say next to nothing, just sit at the table looking hurt. I didn’t know if I was looking hurt, but I was pretty sure I looked angry. I reminded myself that I couldn’t wear the clothes I now liked: the revealing, the explicit, the provocative skirts and tops. I couldn’t run around the house naked. I couldn’t see Mr. and Mrs. Baldwin. The only relief I had was using toys in the darkness of my bedroom. Yes, I was angry. It also almost made me laugh.

It took slightly less than 6 weeks from the time I got the summons. Ms. Warner really could be a bitch, too. She found a sympathetic judge to sign off on everything she hammered out of Gerald’s attorneys and to expedite the formal signing of the order. When it was all said and done, I got as much as she felt was possible given the desire to finish it quickly, which left some things to compromise. Since I was a supported spouse and not working, I got alimony, two-thirds of the house, the car, and half the savings. The savings and other assets weren’t enough for me to buy out his share of the house. I needed to find a job to supplement the alimony to live on. I wasn’t sure what the next steps would be or what would happen. What I quickly realized was that I didn’t want the house and getting an apartment closer to the downtown area for a job might be the direction to focus on.

Of course, my limited confidence and self-determination was severely shaken by the experience. I nervously called Mr. Baldwin at his office. I was hoping he would be available. He was as patient, caring, and supportive as always but my voice broke several times as the emotion of it all overwhelmed me. He was wonderful. He gave me so much time and I know how busy he always is. His strong, decisive, controlled manner made me feel so good. He was excellent in probing my thoughts about the future: what I wanted now that it was just me; what I longed for; what I would do if I could do anything; what was my greatest desire, if I had the courage in this new opportunity. It wasn’t so much that he even gave me the time to answer it all. It was more that he presented the questions to consider, to ponder, to explore. He closed our talk with a challenge.