Summer 2019

One benefit of the web is the people from all over the world. I’m European and therefore happy when I get in touch with folks of the other side of the Atlantic, or Australia, and South Africa.
Kelly was from Texas, wrote very personally about her sex life, expectations and boundaries. She was tall, had long thick blond hair, a perfect hour-glass figure, and was bi-curious like me, so many emails and pics flew back and forth.
One day, Kelly asked me, have you ever fucked for money? She did it twice and wrote,
‘The first time I fucked for money was because I wanted to be considered a slut willing do what it took to make a man horny and in control. The second time I wanted my hubby to have the power over me as a pimp selling his slut to the highest bidder. I felt freedom to act out my fantasy, and I cum’d when those men fucked me.’

At that time, I thought it weird to fuck someone for money. Don’t think I’m naive. It’s the oldest business of mankind. Should money for sex be a topic in my life, then it’s me who pays for a proper fuck like the story I shared with you in the massage room where I went twice. I can do what guys can do is my motto. In today’s world, guys got paid by women for service as men pay women.
Paul and I talked about the story of Kelly. At first pretty emotionally, but the longer we spoke, I realized a strange feeling of crossing a boundary, a transgression – once I’ve done it, I can’t go back and will be marked by society for life. I don’t see sex work negative, no, not at all!. Albeit its easy to say, I’m not the one who does it for a living. To be perfectly honest, fucking for money, I might think about myself, I got a skeleton in the closet, a shameful secret that I can’t share with people. Even if I should get a lot of satisfaction out of paid sex, and let’s say I would feel really proud of how well I’m doing, I’m still not able to tell someone besides Paul. Does it matter? Guess not!
It’s my understanding there are two perceptions of sex work in the media – the happy hooker, who’s super-empowered and makes loads of money and loves sex, and the abused victim. This takes me back to Kelly, who doesn’t fit in these models, who sold herself twice for the experience of it.

Experiences are strong motives for us. Typical Paul, when he finally said, should the opportunity present itself one day and I still feel the urge to do it, go for it. But promise me to make sure you don’t get into trouble. We never spoke about it ever after.

Tom runs an adult store in combination with a club, a stage for live shows. Since my last adventure in his store, my Tits–Pussy-Ass-day for Paul, he calls me regular. He has a funny nature, has to tell exciting stories of customers and the club. All calls end with another approach getting me on stage in a live show, which I decline likewise. That day he spoke about new photos on the walls of the club. I mentioned two framed black and whites of me A1 size and suggested to exhibit them. Tom agreed exuberantly and said he had to visit a porn fair and wouldn’t be around the next days, but his assistants Neil or Liz take the pics.