Christ was my life a mess, there I was, forty years old,
my wife had buggered off with my best friend and his
wife blamed me for it. My Company had made me redundant
and though the redundancy money was more than generous
it did not make up for over twenty years of loyalty that
I had given the Company.

Just to add insult to injury, every job I applied for
turned me down seemingly in favour of younger men less
qualified than myself and the labour exchange, sorry Job
Centre, didn’t seem hopeful of finding me a job in my
field. About all I had going for me was my home, my
redundancy money and my Eighteen year old daughter June.
In fact about the only thing going for me was my
daughter, there was a chance I could lose my home when
my divorce went to court and an equal chance that my
wife would try to get her hands on what money I had.

All in all I was feeling very depressed and when June
decided that she was going to abroad for a year I felt a
wave of loneliness hit me like a solid blow only a week
after she had gone.

I struggled along for a couple of months with solicitors
and Job Centre staff as my only human contacts, by some
miracle the courts bumped my case right to the top of
the list and after a long and sordid ordeal I at least
kept my house, though half my money was gone.

I felt really depressed at the thought that I was having
to pay for my wife to have her pleasure, but there it
was and there was nothing that I could do about it no
matter how much it galled me. The house seemed so empty
and a few days after becoming a ‘free’ man again I was
so depressed that I was seriously contemplating topping
myself.

Sitting there alone in the dark one night I decided to
do it, I had no gun so shooting myself was out, I never
could manage tablets so taking an overdose was out, I
thought about cutting my wrists in the bath, but the
thought of the pain of cutting myself put me off that
idea.

In the end I decided that tossing myself off a tall
building was the answer and I knew the very one not a
mile away, writing out my farewell note I stuck it on
the mantel, put my coat on and left the house, the
building I wanted loomed on the skyline and I headed
towards it with a weary tread. The next thing I knew was
I was flying through the air and landing with one hell
of a thump.

Waking, I groaned as every inch of my body ached, warily
opening my eyes I looked around me, I was in a hospital
bed, one arm and both legs encased in plaster.