[ As the title suggests, realizations often come as vague hints and indications, often indirectly by means of the use of allusions, an inkling, an innuendo, or by implication. This story, though fictional, plays with these synonyms as the main character begins to grasp that he is perhaps not quite the stud he has always wanted to see himself as. Also, a big thanks to Megan, for the inspiration of this particular piece! ]

“I really like you, but…” Those five words were like having cold water splashed in your face; suddenly, without any indication that it was about to happen. The woman, who I had met through an on-line dating site (I’ll refer to her here as ‘Courtney’), and who had spoken those five words, went to say ” but” (and she paused as if wondering if she should go on with what she’d begun to say) “you, you have a small penis; and I prefer guys with much bigger cocks. Sorry,” she added, and she seemed sincere, “but that’s my preference.”

She made an effort to tell me that she thought I was a “really nice guy, and I like you. I do. But…” There again was that word “but.” My heart sunk. I’d started to really enjoy Courtney’s company. Her red hair and pale, milk colored skin was arresting. But then, the evening we’d had our first-ever sexual encounter ended in a strangely abrupt manner, that had confused me at first.

When she allowed me to enter her pussy with my cock I was so eager, so excited, and I admit I had been so excited that I had managed to come with surprising rapidity. It was then that I sensed her, her…disappointment. I’d apologized for my abruptness in ejaculating, and she had acted as if it was nothing; but on our second date that was when she informed me that she preferred men with considerably bigger cocks than the one I possessed. In fact, she made it known that she had dated quite a number of black men before me, and that those were the sorts of men she liked the best (for great, and long-lasting, sex).

“I really like you, but…”

It was that word “but” that had hit me right in the pit of my stomach, and I knew, even before she had said so, that we would not be seeing each other again. I naturally felt frustrated and more than a little disappointed. I was going to miss Courtney! Funny, but the fact that she’d basically dumped me because I had a small cock (based on her experiences with various black men), I didn’t feel angry at her. I tried to feel anger at her, but I couldn’t. Partly, this was so because I agreed that I did, in fact, have a rather small cock (not to mention that I could never seem to last more than a few passionate moments after beginning intercourse! So, that helped soften the blow to my bruised ego to a certain degree.