Jill said that when she was a little girl, she became aware that her parents were doing something in their bedroom that she didn’t understand. She would hear noises—grunting, moaning, sometimes yelling—that initially frightened her. What were her parents doing to each other? Were they fighting? Were they hurting each other? One day when she was alone with her mother, Jill asked Mary about the night noises and expressed her worst fears about what they meant. “Oh, no, sweetheart,” her mother gently explained. “What you hear are love noises. They come from things that grown-ups do with each other, with their bodies, to feel good. I make your father feel good, and he makes me feel good.” “Is it like tickling?” Jill asked. “A little,” said her mother, “but sometimes it’s a little more intense than that.” Jill was glad to hear all this, even if she was still confused about the specifics.
When she got a little older, she started sneaking out of her room when her parents were making the love-noises, peeking into the bedroom to watch. She saw the way her stepmother would take her stepfather’s penis in her mouth and how happy he looked. She saw the way her stepfather put his penis into her stepmother’s vagina and how happy she looked. Jill began to feel tingles in her own vagina, and one night u*********sly reached down and rubbed that area as she watched her parents. To her surprise, she felt for vagina moisten and felt a surging tingle.
As a teenager, Jill learned more about sex—not just by asking her step-parents questions, but also from sex-ed lessons at school and from the furtive talk of her friends. Some of her friends were already experimenting with each other sexually, but Jill was shy. The only man she felt truly comfortable with was her step-dad. She began to get the idea that maybe she could learn more about sex if she did to her stepfather some of the things her mother did to him. One evening after dinner when Mom was in the kitchen, Jill and her stepfather were sitting on the sofa; Dan was reading the paper. Jill leaned over and put her head in her stepfather’s lap—she wanted to be near his penis: she was so curious! She talked softly to her stepfather about her day at school and this and that, just chattering aimlessly, all the while moving her head slightly back and forth across her stepfather’s crotch.