The Neighborhood MILF: Ludmila
Every year, one of our favorite local pubs has a customer appreciation party around Christmas time. Drink specials, plenty of food, and a free juke box that led to a wide variety of music being played. This party started in the afternoon on Friday and lasted all night. My friend Laurie and I were one of the first ones there, and my husband DJ was planning on joining us after work.

The crowd was a lot younger than normal, as our normal hangout was being taken over by a new generation. I didn’t seem to mind, as there were plenty of good looking guys and girls everywhere. Laurie has never been one to shy away from flirting, and immediately pointed out a young dark-haired guy that was playing pool. She commented in a lame Russian accent , “I vould luv to suck heez cock!”

We chuckled back and forth, making similar corny comments about half the people that were in there. We’ve used these stupid Russian voices since high school, and as terrible as we were at impressions, we always seemed to get a good laugh out of it.

I got a call from DJ, and answered in my playful Russian voice. “Hello Dahlink! Dis is Natasha! Vill you be here soon?” Laurie was laughing, and I was having trouble hearing with the jukebox blaring, but did manage to understand that DJ wouldn’t be joining us. He said he wasn’t feeling well, and told us to have a good time.

“Oh Ve Vill, Dahlink!” I answered, staying with my lame Russian accent, drawing more laughter from my tipsy friend.

I guess we were a little too loud as we finally caught the young pool player’s attention. He came over to our table and asked if we were from Eastern Europe. I just giggled back at him, but Laurie took the charade a little further.

“Russia!” she corrected him, as I could barely hold back my laughter. “Dis is my friend Natasha, and I am Ludmila.”

“Nice to meet you ladies. I’m Bruce.” He politely played along, and bought us a couple more vodka lemonades. “I’ve seen you two before, but had no idea you weren’t American. What brings you to Iowa?”

I was ready to fess up and tell him we were both life long residents of Dubuque, but Laurie kept going with her fake accent.

“Ve are sex thedapists here doing dtesearch for Government. Here to learn sexual hobits fdum young men.”

Bruce continued to play along with the corny sexual flirting, and smiled at me as he asked how are research was coming along. The handsome young man seemed to enjoy bantering back and forth with Laurie, but kept looking at me, as if I were going to corroborate her story.

I finally joined in with the playful act, “Ludmila loves beeg young Amedican boys.” I couldn’t keep a straight face, and Bruce laughed at my response as he glanced back at my smirking friend. “Oh Really? Don’t they have any big boys back in Russia?